The kiss of death - I am a cow.

There's nothing better than a big package!

Oooh. That was awkward. But I was very excited to come home today to a UPS box addressed from home. My mom had wanted to do something nice for me, so she baked me cookies. Four dozen of them actually (not exaggerating). It was really sweet of her, even though I told her in advance that I wouldn't eat them. Not to be mean, but I just wouldn't - I eat approximately two cookies each year. It's perfect timing, though, because Maddie's been having a rough couple of days and she LOVES cookies. She will be even more obsessed with my mom now.

My mom has a few dreams for her kids - she wants us to be happy, and healthy, and holy. Typical mom dreams. But she also wants us to be fat. After I picked her up at Heathrow Airport and we were riding back together on the tube, my mom squeezed my arm and smiled and said, "I was so worried that I would come here and you would be a stick! But you look perfect." Oh, God, I thought. The kiss of death - I am a cow. And true enough, when I got back to America and stepped on the scale, I had gained 15 pounds. My mom never fails me.

She's also very concerned with me adapting the vegetarian lifestyle. It's been more than two months since I last had meat (I still eat fish), and I love it. My mother, on the other hand, is convinced that vegetarianism will kill me. Every time I come home, she urges me to take prenatal vitamins "because they're so good for you!" Thanks, Mom, but I'm not planning to get pregnant. She is more concerned about the lack of folic acid in my diet than she is of guns or drugs or Barack Obama becoming president. Besides deploring my vegetarianism, she also refuses to accept it. Scott came to visit last week, laden with a grocery bag full of canned goods. While I felt a little like a homeless pantry, I thought it was nice of my mom to think of me - until I opened the bag. "Chunky chicken noodle soup," "beef and vegetable stew," "grilled chicken and sausage gumbo" - HONESTLY, MOTHER. Excuse me while I go outside and slay a grizzly bear for dinner.

Enough about that.

I've started working for the women's center on campus once a week. Since I studied abroad, I am now considered "international," aka Very Important. I sit down with two Korean women every Thursday for an hour or so, and we talk so that they can improve and practice their English. I knew I would like them even before I met them in person. I e-mailed one of them - Young - to tell her what I looked like so she knew what to look out for - long blond hair, black coat and blue jeans. She e-mailed me back with a description of her own - black hair, oval eyes and 'I look like Asian person.' Precious. They are both so cute. Young's husband is working toward his doctorate in economics and Jenny's husband is working toward his master's degree in something equally as important. They each have two kids who learn English at school, but Jenny and Young are home all day and don't have that opportunity. They say that Korean schools stress English grammar but not spoken English, which is much harder.

I asked Jenny what she was doing this weekend and she replied that her son was going to learn how to ride his bike to school. "Oh, that's cool!" I said. "Yes, it's very good," Jenny answered. "He needs it. He's fat." Young was like, "He's not fat!" And Jenny said, "Next time you come over, I lift up his stomach for you." I would estimate that I spend about 65% of our time together laughing. Next week they're going to take me to a restaurant for our session so that we can order hash brown casserole, Jenny's favorite.

I hope you're all having a good week! You don't need a blog to leave me a message (HINT HINT).