Don't read this on a weak stomach

So today was arguably the most painful day of my life.

I woke up this morning and felt a little nauseated - which I occasionally do in the morning, so it wasn't that weird. Then my stomach rumbled, so I was like - oh! I must be hungry. Although if I really would have paid attention to myself, I would have realized that it wasn't THAT KIND of rumbling - but I was too tired to process that. So I go downstairs and pour myself a bowl of Honey Nut Shredded Wheat with a generous pool of milk, since I'm almost to the bottom of my carton and I wanted to get rid of it. I took one bite. Eeesh. Not good. I took two more bites, this time scooping up less milk. Not much better. I carried my cereal upstairs and placed it on the floor so that I could go through my morning online ritual. I kept trying to eat because I knew by the time I would be able to eat lunch - after 2 p.m. - I would be starving.

But that dang feeling of nausea wouldn't go away, and it usually does after I start eating breakfast. And then - well - all of my internal organs tried jumping out of my body. Among other things. I have never been so sick in my entire life. My face turned blanch white and my lips turned bright red - the lips thing was cool - and I finally understood the meaning of clamminess. I wasn't crying but I had tears running down my face. SO. PAINFUL.

So I laid around all day - I think this was the first legitimate sick day of my life. I kept wanting to go to class (seriously!), but I know no one else would have wanted me and my barf bucket there. The worst moment was around 10:30 a.m. - I thought Katie would come home to find me dead. Actually, at various points today, I was hoping that I would just die and get it over with.

But I'm better now. Katie brought me home 7-Up and Saltines (she is an ANGEL!) and my London internship mailed me several copies of the February issue (with my article!) and our fashion supplement, so I can see the beauty that is Holly and Lianna and Cliff and Thea. The pictures are SO gorgeous, and I'm marked down as a photo shoot assistant. So amazing. See both covers here: http://www.retail-jeweller.com.

My mom has called me four times today. She became immediately convinced that I was food poisoned, after I told her that I went to Chipotle last night for dinner. She is the food safety queen after all. So she hung up with me, called the restaurant, who then called ME - with an obviously uncomfortable and somewhat-hot sounding manager asking me to describe - quickly - my symptoms. After that humiliating encounter, my mom called back and told me that if I was still feeling ill tomorrow, I needed to RUSH IMMEDIATELY TO THE NEAREST HOSPITAL and get set up with some IVs because I WAS LOSING VITAL FLUIDS. Oh, God. I hope it doesn't come to that.

So the moral of the story is, If you fake too many sick days in your lifetime, one day it will all come back to bite you. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in the next year, but within 10-15 years of your life, you will be telling a Chipotle manager the circumference of the chunks you blew that morning. A word to the wise.