"That lady said 'Excuse me,' so I squeezed in my buttcheeks." -- Amy

Is it August yet?

No, no, no. It hasn't been that bad - just hectic. Maddie came home with me Sunday. We weren't sure if she would be able to because it looked like she was going to regionals. As of early Saturday afternoon, she was in 12th place in the D1 Central Regionals. As of late into my Saturday night shift on the copy desk, however, she was holding her own in last place for being disqualified. She told me later that she was on the 13th hole, picked up her ball and then realized it wasn't hers. It had been almost identical to her ball - brand, special markings, purple circles, and all, but it had a couple of extra lines on it. Immediate DQ.

That's OK because she made up for it when she played my dad on Monday. We went to a golf course in town that sponsors an annual LPGA tournament. Fittingly, Annika Sorenstam, a fellow Swede, won last year's. Maddie outshot my dad by 12 strokes on a course he's been playing for nearly 30 years. I was in charge of keeping score. Maddie did everything else, including driving the golf cart. She also kept me giggling as she told me exactly what my dad was going to do on each stroke. "He's going to pull left on this one," she confided. "A common mistake." Sure enough! I even got a few shots in myself. Maddie placed a ball four feet from the hole, and I managed to get a par! I think I'm a natural.

We had a lot of fun, going out to eat at Darcy's, swimming in the pool with the kidlets, playing with our 13 new baby kittens, watching Simon Burch downstairs on the projecter screen while stuffing our faces with popcorn and pretzels. Lexie took Maddie and me down to the barn, where she proceeded to chuck large rocks at the chickens, causing a large raucous. Don't worry - I dragged her out by her arm before the roosters could peck her eyes out.

I had an interview today for a research project on the history of tuberculosis in Illinois, from 1900 to present. Apparently there are 200 cases a year here; I didn't realize it even existed. To be honest, all I know is that it's a bacteria because that's what the woman told me. I think I'm going to accept because I could work with Carly. And make a couple of thousand bucks. And work with Carly!

Speaking of Carly, I'm driving to Chicago to pick her up from O'Hare tomorrow. I haven't seen her in four-and-a-half months. Good thing I'm kind of used to this by now, since I'll be playing the 'traded in for a Filipino Spaniard' game again next semester. I can't say I blame her, though - foreign tongues are hot.

My sister's glasses are hot, too, and that's why I'm wearing them. Same prescription, same brain, same cynical sarcasm - is it possible to have two soulmates? Actually, I think I have at least a handful. Too bad none of them are boys.