Mistaken identity

I meet with Laura, my boss at the advertising agency, tomorrow to work out my schedule. I meet with Diane, my boss at ALA (aka TB history) next Tuesday. I accepted, so this is my first summer with a "real" job. Maybe I'll be so impressive at the advertising agency that they'll pay for more than downtown parking, too.

My family is going to Arkansas this weekend to stay with one of my mom's good friends and former business instructor. That would be Mom, Dad, Kevin, Lyndsey and Lexie. Basically, with only four kids left in the house, I'm going to feel like an only child. I'm not sure what I'll do with myself. Maybe I'll lay out if it's nice. Even on the beautiful days, I have SUCH A HARD TIME just going out to the pool and laying down. I just need to move around. I can control myself when a friend's over, but not when I'm by myself. I'm sure the gusting wind doesn't help me stay in place either. There were upwards of 25 mph gusts today, and we live on a hill. You can't even walk outside without careening sharply to whichever way the wind is blowing.

I just finished a book my friend Erin loaned me for the summer. It's called "The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath. The heroine of the story, Esther Greenwood, slowly goes insane, and then tries, on several occasions, to commit suicide. This closely mirrors the author's life, except that she actually succeeded in killing herself at age 31. It's scary because you can see the psychotism (invented?) building. I always worry that I have that button in my head, too, and I'm afraid it will be pressed. I think I tend to overreact to sensitive situations - be it mine or other people's - but still. I feel like I understand the intricacies of mental illness more than I would like to.

I'm slowly easing my way into the summer routine. I think it will be better when my schedule is structured by the two jobs. I'm really excited about starting up school again in the fall. I think it will be so great to be a TA, and I'm so excited I was picked. Of course, hopefully by then I will have cemented my post-graduate study plans. I've been thinking law school for a few months now, and that seems to have stuck. Right now, I'm thinking a divorce attorney or a sexual harassment/abuse attorney. Sooo random, but I think it would be very rewarding to help people get their lives back in order. We'll see. It's fun (right now) to have so many options.

I went up the office yesterday afternoon to see if my dad needed any help. I was up there for two minutes before I was like, "Geez, Dad, how do you stand this? It's boiling in here!" And he said, idly, "Oh, is it? I hadn't really noticed. I'll open the windows again. Amy was mowing the yard, and I couldn't hear the phones over the noise." I stared at him, gaped mouth. "Are you kidding me?" He said, "No! I didn't even know she knew how to mow on the zero-turn. I looked out the window and saw her zipping around the trees." I was like, "Dad, I can't tell if you're messing with me or not." And he said, "No, she really was!" I lifted up my tanktop a little bit so that he could see the bits of grass still stuck to my black shorts. "THAT WAS ME."

I can't even get credit for my slave labor. I kid. I adore mowing the yard. It's a little unnerving how Amy and I are (quickly) morphing into the same person.

Kevin got a $425 check in the mail today. He won a full scholarship for art camp this summer. He actually had a butterfly painting displayed at a gallery in St. Louis last year. I did make fun of him for the butterflies, of course. I now call him Boy Genius.

We have 13 new baby kittens. Yes, that's THIRTEEN. Addison has one, a black fluffy named Midnight (also Bubbles, RIP). Fuzzy has six - two grey, two black, two white. So cute, but annoyingly squeaky. Then there are two more sets down at the barn, two blacks and one white in each. I really enjoy going out to play with them. I'm starting to understand my little sisters a bit more, too, because I find that whenever I get frustrated now, I make a hissing noise. Amy pointed this out to me. It should bother me, but to be honest, I kind of like it.